Hess-o-mania

A few evenings ago, I watched Nacho Libre for the first time. It is a fun, quirky movie, with sweet undertones and a great soundtrack. It has a cult following here in Utah because the creators are a husband & wife team from Utah, or at least went to BYU for film school. They also created another popular movie called Napoleon Dynamite.

When I arrived to Utah, Napoleon Dynamite had just arrived on DVD. I hadn't heard anything about it in Florida. In Utah, people would go on and on about this movie, quoting from it word for word. Someone had the soundtrack and played it at a dinner party I attended. The music is funky organ music that fits the movie, but isn't exactly the best backdrop for a party. When people heard that I had not viewed this particular picture their faces would contort into a mixture of pity and shock. I decided it would be prudent for me to borrow my cousin's DVD if I wanted to have anything to talk about with people at future gathering. I made some popcorn, put in the DVD, and nestled in for this life altering experience. It was good, but it did take a couple of viewings for me to really get into it. To me, it is very much a Utah film with Utah humor. You have to understand the people here (and Idaho) to really appreciate the film.

When Nacho came out last summer, I wasn't all that interested in seeing it because after about 5 minutes of Jack Black, I'm done. I like him and really like his inhibitions, but it's that "overacting" he does with his face that starts to get a little old. I decided to rent it, and both myself and my husband (who didn't care for Napoleon Dynamite at all) really liked it.
After watching it, I immediately downloaded the soundtrack, and the next morning I found this in my shower:Now I can't be sure, but to me it looks like the "little people" wrestlers that growl and sound like little pigs. If you haven't seen the movie than you have no idea what I am talking about. This little creation was done by my husband, apparently killing time while letting the conditioner set. Media used - steam and glass mixed with human fingers.

Today's Run

Run Time: 45 minutes (3 min walk/2 min run) warm up and cool down
Distance : 2.66 miles

Notes: Need to stretch more afterwards. I am starting to feel shin splints on my left calf.

Day late

I forgot to add my Running entry into yesterday's post.

Time: 45 minutes - 3 min walk/2 min run w/ warm up and cool down
average walking speed 3.6
average running speed 4.1
Total: 2.39 miles

I was pooped!!!

Dreams of a Sugarplum Fairy

Last night my husband took me to see The Nutcracker for our anniversary. Since moving back to Utah, I have resumed my love of attending art performances. As a child I would attend Ballet productions as money would allow. I remember being so young that my parents would have to ball up their coats to be used as a booster seat, so that I may be able to see around the beehive hairdo in front of me. I remember when I was about 6 years old, leaning over to my mom and declaring "someday I am going to be the Sugarplum Fairy."
My eyes wide, mystified by the story being so elegantly played out before me, I would dream of the day when I would be dancing on my toes, my Cavalier lifting me high above his head, and my tiara sparkling in the stage lights with my legs suspended effortlessly into the air. This was my dream. This would be my moment in life.
Unfortunately that dream never did become a reality, but I still love the Ballet, love the movement, the art, talent, and the surreal dream that a ballet production becomes through hours, months, years, and lifetimes of hard work.
Last night was no different. I sat in that chair (sans coats underneath me) and entered into a perfect world of childhood mystery and grace. The 34 year old women I am today disappeared and once again became a 6 year old girl forever mystified by the beauty displayed before me.

In Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker Suite there is a piece called the Pas de Deux. This is a dance where the Sugarplum Fairy and her Cavalier dance together. The music is one of the most beautiful pieces ever created, at least to me. It is a series of crescendos followed by diminuendos. Building the anticipation and then back down, up and down, up and down, until it reaches its climax with two Cymbals smashing into one another. Like clockwork, year after year, when that climax happens my chest fills with such emotion that I can't hold it in anymore and tears begin to roll down my face. No matter how hard I try to hold back, I can't. It just takes me in. I love it.

When I got home, I dug through my old chest and found my old toe shoes still tied together the way I left them many years ago. Here they are....








I think there was some dried blood in one of them. Blood, sweat, and tears as they say.

It was a great night filled with great memories. If you get a chance to see The Nutcracker or even just listen to The Suite, it is well worth it. The title of this post is a link to a wikipedia explanation of the story of The Nutcracker. William Christensen was the choreographer that brought The Nutcracker to the U.S. in 1944. He was also the man who started Ballet West here in Salt Lake. I had the privilege to dance for him....once. He wouldn't remember me, but I will always remember him.

Running into the New Year

I know it is a little early to start the new year's resolution list, but I guess I like to get off to an early start. I have decided to start with one of the hardest activities for me, running. Generally speaking, I usually have beginners luck with most things I try. Most things except running. I suck at it. I think when I was in my mother's womb she gave me her size lungs for my body (she is six inches shorter on a good day).
Its not that I am in bad shape. I can dance for hours, lift weights, do pilates, and even some yoga, but running is my Achilles heel. Even as a very active kid, I was one of the last people to finish the running portion of the Physical Fitness Test. I have always wanted to be a runner. I sit in admiration of people who can just run forever and ever.

Last year as my girlfriend, Jody , embarked on her 2nd Marathon I thought to myself, "this could be the motivation I need." I may, possibly, kind of have a slight competitive streak. I began to do a training program designed by Girls Gotta Move for a 5K over the past summer. I began with high expectations which usually leads me to failure. After the first few weeks, my left foot began to erupt in pain during the course of a run. Within days I was unable to walk at all. My injury was a nasty little bugger called Plantar Fasciitis. Apparently it is a common injury with people who try to do too much too fast, and since I had probably pushed myself too hard my body responded with an injury that put me on my butt for most of the summer. I was not a happy camper. Fortunately, I found a chiropractor that helped with the injury, and with time and healing, I finally recovered.

Now, I am looking again at Jody going after another Marathon (she runs for her mum who died a few years ago from lymphoma). I figure now is the time to try and tackle this mountain... again. I have no desire to run a marathon, and right now my only goal is to run the 5K portion of the Salt Lake City Marathon in April. I have decided to do a nice, slow paced run, and work my way up to my goal of a 5K (3.1 miles). Secondary goal is to be able to do trail running next summer.

Why am I writing about this? I want to incorporate my running diary into my blog. My intention is to chart my progress and hopefully find some motivation to keep on going and try to improve.

First entry:
Treadmill 45 minutes - 3 minutes walk/2 minutes run w/warm up and cool down. Total miles- 2.5. Motivational running music today - New Order: Blue Monday, BLT

Christmas Day

We had a great Christmas. Hope everyone else did as well. I think my cat, Zoey, says it all. Just between you and me though, she is abused on a daily basis : )

After we opened our presents and had some breakfast we took our new snowshoes and broke them in at Mill Creek canyon. It was crazy with people who apparently had the same idea as we did. I think there were more dogs than people though. It needs to be renamed the yellow dog road. Beware of where you step!

Even with all the traffic we had a good time.


I am now headed out for Christmas dinner at my aunt's. I don't think I can eat anymore though. I think a fast is in order for the next two days.

Merry Holiday?

Yesterday I joined the thousands of other last minute shoppers, and decided to brave the mall for some stocking stuffer's. I had done a lot of online shopping this year and had not yet actually been to a mall in months.

While checking out at a sporting good store, I found myself gabbing away at the 16 year old behind the counter. As I finished paying, I started to say "Merry Christmas!" to which he replied "Happy Holidays." I walked away feeling rather awkward, as if I was insensitive to the possibilities that he isn't Christian or that he may not celebrate Christmas. I wandered off, going over the scenario in my mind, "was I rude, should I not have said anything?"
I never really thought much about the words offering holiday cheer...until this year. Suddenly there is a new line that has been drawn on both sides of the political spectrum, and neither side is budging. Now it is possible to offend someone when wishing a "Merry Christmas." It is also some sort of political statement to wish someone a "Happy Holiday." What the hell is going on? I can't win!
As I proceeded with my shopping itinerary, I continued the political/religious discourse in my mind. On one side, I am knowledgeable in the fact that there are a whole lot of individuals who do not celebrate Christmas. This is something that I try to remember as I look at all the Christian celebration going on around me (one could argue that what we see is not very Christian at all, but just a cultural guideline for gluttony, but I digress). In fact, I look fondly if not even enviously at the simple Menorah that is lit at the Jewish center up the street. It seems to speak volumes about the Jewish faith, whereas the blow up Santas' and fighting adults over the latest Sony PlayStation doesn't say much for Christianity. I have had the experience of wishing someone a "Merry Christmas," to which they responded with a "Happy Hanukkah." I didn't think anything of it. In effect, it was just two people wishing the other a great day, a celebration of our faiths and diversity. Kindness, not conversion.

On the other side of the issue, one can bypass the "Merry Christmas," and enter the dimension of "Happy Holidays." Apparently by doing so you now declare yourself a whiny liberal. Little did I know that saying two words, words that are meant as a salutation, could have such a visceral reaction in some. I personally have been known to use both the "Merry Christmas" and the "Happy Holiday" in the same conversation. Confusing I know. My response to this recent attack on the most basic of holiday cheer and greetings, is GET OVER YOURSELF!! Find something else to argue about and leave good ol' "Happy Holidays" alone! I find it unfortunate that we in this country are so sandbox oriented. "You can't play in mine unless you vow only to use "Merry Christmas"." I don't understand it. To me it sucks the joy out of a simple, basic, human need to interact with others, and mutilates it until someone is standing on their mole hill declaring themselves the victor.

In the end, it should be the thought that counts. I believe most of us were taught that concept from a very young age. If someone wishes you well, offers a greeting, or just a "bless you" when you sneeze, just take it for what is it; someone taking 3 seconds to stop and acknowledge your existence. In this crazy, self centered world, it's nice when someone cares enough to notice.

So have a very Merry Christmas, and a spectacularly Happy Holiday!!!

Frozen Fun

As I had stated in a previous post, I looooooove Christmas lights. Last night, we decided to brave the elements and go check out some of the sights. A block or 2 from my house is a street titled "Christmas Street" at least for this time of the year. We stopped off for a nice looky-loo.





We continued on with our quest to seek more holiday illumination. If you live in Salt Lake, it is generally known that one must go to the Salt Lake Temple for a Christmas light fix. We turned our wheels North and went downtown.
This is one of my favorite buildings at Temple Square. The building is the former "Assembly Hall," and inside was a high school choral group singing Christmas Songs. The architecture is reminiscent of early American government buildings. My husband and I were commenting that the interior resembles The House of Burgess at Colonial Williamsburg.

Below is the LDS Temple. As a child, I remember more Christmas lights in the tall trees, but maybe that is just my child's eye and memory. I love the red and orange lights.




By the evenings end, my skin had formed into a nice ice shield. I think the oil in my pores froze thereby not allowing my face to take any other form other than a "bad botox job" look. My eyes were frozen open, and my nose was so red it was calling Santa from the great beyond. After about an hour at the Temple, we decided to head home.

On our way back to the parking lot, we decided to go through an old mall, one that is now eerily empty. The Crossroads Mall was a place where I would spend many Saturdays in my youth. To walk through it now, as it is about to be torn down to make room for a newer mall, is somewhat sad. I remember walking the corridors, looking in all the stores, having lunch, going to movies, and generally wasting time like all good teenagers can do. As a young girl, I marked my independence by taking a bus (with transfer) to the Crossroads mall. I did manage to take the wrong bus home, but it was still a great day, and it was celebrated at this place. I am happy to see the new plans laid out for this part of downtown, however, I guess as we get older and see these places of our youth torn down and/or replaced, a small part of ourselves goes with it.

P.S. My flickr has more temple light shots if you are interested.

Oh Joyous Day!!!

After three straight days of snow, the sun finally has blessed me with its presence once again. After a good night of sleep, I woke to the sun coming up over the mountains. I was once again filled with happiness. Sure it's bitter cold, but it has been over a week without blue sky and the warmth of the sun. One can start to go rather nutty without the sun (speaking of myself in particular). Over the weekend we received a measure of that storm that pounded the northwest. Thankfully it wasn't nearly as bad here, but it was pretty much snowing non stop for 3 days. Enough to make the road a mess (70 accidents in 6 hours on Sunday morning alone).

So what does a single (sort of) woman do while snowed in over a weekend? Well let me tell you, it is REALLY interesting.
The first hour, I proceeded to clean out my tool closet. Yes, I have a tool closet filled with paints, caulk, nails, an a small arsenal of medieval torture devises to threaten my husband with. I found in this closet a bucket of red paint leftover from a paint job on my stairway. There was most of a gallon leftover, so I thought to myself...."where could I put this red paint?" I proceeded to paint a large wall in my family room, followed by two walls in my kitchen. I have to say it looks really good! Once boring beige walls, now say Hello! I just hope the better half doesn't have a heart attack when he gets home tomorrow.
Hour 2: I read a book.
Hour 3: I clipped my toenails (yuck).
Hour 4: Painted said toenails.
Hour 5: Downloaded too much music.
Hour 6: Played Joe Cocker's "You can leave your hat on," while attempting to do my best impersonation of Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks (or maybe it was The Full Monty).
Hour 7: Watched the Science Channel....again. FYI: The universe is ever expanding. It was once thought that it was actually starting to collapse on itself, but now the scientists are much smarter and realize that it is forever expanding and will eventually expand itself into nothingness. Plan now!!
Hour 8: Made some chocolate chip cookies. Yummmmy. Nothing like a heavy dose of chocolate to make a boring day much better.
Hour 9: Talked to my mom. "So Bindy, am I ever going to have grandchildren?" Love you too Mom!
Hour 10: Internet Christmas shopping............Yes! I am done!!!
Hour 11: Brushed my teeth, put on my flannels, and hit the hay.

WOW! And that was just day 1. Shall I continue? Me thinks no.

I am off to enjoy some sun and blue sky. Have a great one!

Just a walk in the park

Do you ever have those moments in life where suddenly everything looks so different, looks better and more beautiful? That happened to me today. Later in the afternoon, I was feeling the need to get outdoors and be in nature. I knew the canyons were getting snow, and with the forecast of new snow coming, I didn't want to head out that far alone. I decided to go to one of my favorite haunts, Memory Grove Park and City Creek Canyon. I brought with me my fleece cover, some water, my ipod, and my camera. Having not seen any sun in days, I was craving enrichment of the outdoors. I parked my car and proceeded up the hill as I had done 100 times in the past, but something about this time was different. It was familiar, but seemed all new to me. The sounds of the cold wind blowing through the trees, the splashing sounds of the creek as it rushed past me, and the bird songs all seemed more brilliant and alive to me today. In the past when I have come to this place it is usually for the exercise (when I have my very focused face on) or to gab with people and meet dogs. Today though, I felt more like a drifter. There was no focus, no ambitions, no worries, just.......peace (dare I say it). I spent most of my time looking up into the trees, noticing the few remaining leaves balancing on the stems, watching the birds fly from limb to limb. I noticed the color of the bark, the different shades of green in the needles of the pines. Everything around me seemed so alive and amazing.

As I turned back go down the hill to my car, I came across a women with her dog. She looked to be in her late 70s/early 80s. She had a smile on her face that seemed to show she knew what I was feeling. I smiled back. Her dog, a large Dalmatian, came up to me for a quick sniff and then proceeded on his way. I thought to myself, "I hope that is me in 50 years; a women that is happy, peaceful, content, and even blissful."
It is possible to see the world in all its beauty. Just take a walk in a park and look around, you never know what you might find.

Laughing baby

I'm sorry to be adding another video, but I just had to add this one. There is nothing like a baby laughing, but is it me or does this baby need to cut back to one pack a day? I love it anyway!

What is it?

This evening as I was goofing off with my camera, I decided to get a little adventurous and try to take a self portrait. None of the photos worked out. Something about trying to take a photo and look into a mirror at the same time just didn't work for me. After giving up, I went back to finishing the painting job I had started in my office. A few hours later, I decided to go ahead and download the photos anyway (at least for a good laugh).
The one photo that I thought was nothing but a flash of light ended up actually showing my face, sort of. What I found most interesting about this photo though (outside of the obvious need to clean my mirror) was the color that came out around my head. Now the most obvious reason(s) for the color blobs is the light from the flash reflecting off the mirror, dust particles, and possibly some of the color from my dark blue sweatshirt managing to produce a violet-colored reflection. That's the ever present, logical side of my brain talking. It makes sense, right?

But then the more inquisitive side of me came out and asked the question, "well what if it is something more, what if is an aura?" I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn't help myself. I did a couple of searches regarding auras on the web. There was quite a bit of info on the topic, too much to discuss here. Apparently a person can see an aura if they train how to. Most people tend to have a particular color around them. Blue is spiritual, orange is emotional, etc...

Looking at the photo, I tend to think it is just dust because the color is spherical which makes me think it is the light reflecting off the molecules in the air. However, since I am a curious person by nature, I like to think about things a bit beyond the rational. I think it makes life a little more interesting (and makes a bad photo suddenly appear intriguing).

It's the little things....

After a long day on my feet, these cozy little socks are my idea of total luxury. I picked them up today while finishing some Christmas shopping. I thought I deserved them.
The colors are pretty nice too!

Christmas Lights

I don't know what it is, but I love the lights of Christmas. More than the music, the goodies, or the gifts, it's the lights of Christmas that make the season special. Big bulbs, or little twinklers, white ones, blue ones, or multicolored ones. They are all so beautiful to me.

Last night as I was driving to my aunt's house for dinner, I chose to take the long route through the neighborhoods so I could stop and stare at all the lit up homes. Some houses just had a simple, beautiful strand hanging over their front door, others had every tree and srub coated with the multicolored diodes.

My husband (aka Clark W. Griswold), loves the lights as much as I do. This year he had grand dreams of a house radiating with the little bulbs. Unfortunately it was a mad dash to set up Christmas before he had to leave to do his military work in Florida. There was only time for the tree and a few strands of lights along the eves of the house. He pledges to complete his art once he returns. We should still have 6 days to enjoy his handiwork before the big day.

In the meantime, I can often be found in my living room late at night, sipping on a hot cup of cider, enjoying the beautiful little lights twinkling on my tree. The red one that lights up the glass angel I bought in Germany, the blue one next to it that shadows the the homemade ornament my cousin gave to me 16 years ago. And then there is the Santa that sits on top with its clear lights beaming his smile around the room. I remember the store in Charleston, South Carolina (next to the fudge shop) where I decided this Santa was meant to be on my tree.
I sit and admire the beauty and warmth of those little lights, and a smile forms on my face that I am truly lucky to know such things.

A-ha - Take On Me

Ode to the 80s. They were the best! I miss the big hair and big clothes!

December

Excerpt from A Sand County Almanac; December

Pines Above the Snow

Acts of creation are ordinarily reserved for gods and poets, but humbler folk may circumvent this restriction if they know how. To plant a pine, for example, one need be neither god nor poet; one need only own a shovel. By virtue of this curious loophole in the rules, any clodhopper may say: Let there be a tree- and there will be one.

If his back be strong and his shovel sharp, there may eventually be ten thousand. And in the seventh year he may lean upon his shovel, and look upon his trees, and find them good.
God passed on his handiwork as early as the seventh day, but I notice He has since been rather noncommittal about its merits. I gather either that He spoke too soon, or that trees stand more looking upon than do fig leaves and firmaments.

Looooook into my eyes

The problem when your husband is away.......too much free time to annoy the cat.

Here sits Queen Zoey. Yes you may adore me. You there........crazy lady behind that dreaded camera, bring me my milk.............NOW!!!!

True Love

Here is the story. Two people meet, spend time together, get to know one another, and fall in love. No one can really explain why they have fallen in love, by all outward appearances they don't appear to fit the standard love story, but their love for each other bypasses all reason and logic. It is a connection that is transcendent. Over time, their love and passion grow for one another even though they are only able see each other in passing. They are unable and unwilling to be together because of external forces. Forces that won't allow them to be united, forces that are undeniable in order to function properly in their world(s). They go their separate ways, marry others, have children, and go about living "normal" lives. All the while secretly desiring their true love and aching for that other person. The passion and love for each other carries them through until the next meeting where they know they can be with each other again.

This is a great love story that has been played out many times in novels, movies, poetry, and art. That yearning that comes deep from within. Some of us have had our own stories similar to this one. One thing is certain, love is love, and although it can be deniable in order to survive in the worlds we build for ourselves, it never leaves us. It can be a song on the radio, the way an author unites two characters, or a smell of a particular perfume that always brings back that one person, that moment when you knew that no matter what direction your lives would take, you would always be connected.

Where is this all coming from, one may ask? Well....hold on to your coat tails folks, but I watched Brokeback Mountain last night for the first time. Now before you go running off to put your head in the sand, understand that I myself wasn't quite sure what to make of this film before choosing to rent it. However, if you can leave your body, leave your sex, leave all you have learned about "proper" love behind, you will see what I saw, a real, true blue love story. I do believe that their are some loves that do transcend bodies, minds, and go to a deeper place. A kind of love that can surpass one's sex, race, religion, size, or any of the limitations we set for ourselves, and finds unity in a spiritual plane.

If you have experienced this type of love even once in your lifetime, then you are lucky indeed.

Java and Me

It all started innocently enough. Back in the mid-90s while living in San Diego, a college girlfriend and I would often find ourselves hanging out at the many beach side coffee/art houses that are spattered along the San Diego coast. She, having been a local San Diegan and a regular coffee drinker, convinced me to have a Mocha coffee one afternoon. Although I was skeptical (visions of my parents morning chunk-o-coffee bubbling on the kitchen counter was enough to keep anyone away), I decided to embark on this new experience. It was good, really good. Despite the fact that a Mocha is primarily sugar, it opened a door to try new coffee related beverages. I believe they call this a gateway drug. Yes....my mocha that day changed my life forever.

I soon started brewing the bean at home. Shortly afterwards, I hooked up my husband and got him a monkey for his back too. Initially we started cooking up the flavored coffees such as raspberry, hazelnut, and vanilla, but soon we realized the high just wasn't enough anymore. We needed the hard stuff, the real coffee. We needed the coffee with Country names in the title like Arabia, Sumatra, and Costa Rican. We were hard core now.

Fast forward a few years and I was a full on addict. Functions became impaired without the Joe, words became the ramblings of an idiot, mood swings would shift violently, and the headache, my oh my the headache. I would try and give it up, but the coffee pot would sing to me sweet morning lullabies, the grounds would throw their scent around, and within 2 weeks I had fallen off the wagon.

Now that I am supposedly older and wiser, the coffee consumption has cost me more than late nights and acid reflux, I have been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and high levels of cortisol in my blood (stress hormones). In addition, I have an acid gut with intestinal issues. Now...I have to quit the habit, for my health. I am on day 3 of cutbacks (to help with the withdrawals), and this morning I woke to thumping on my temples, complete lethargy, and as my husband would say, a rather "bitchy" disposition.

I am hopeful that the next few days improve, and by the weeks end, I will be off it all together. I know this is the right thing for me to do.
That being said, I do plan on enjoying the occasional coffee or espresso when I visit the local coffee shops. "Everything in moderation" as they say.

Sidenote- Apparently beta blogger has issues with loading photos into the "about me" part. About every two weeks they lose my picture. I am kind of sick of uploading it, so until they fix it, it will stay blank. My apologies to my many, many fans.