Who are you?

A couple of weeks ago, my husband leaned over and asked me "who are you?" I was unsure if he was serious or if he was experiencing some sort of dementia where he could no longer remember the woman he married. I looked back at him, "who do you think I am?" "Your you," he said. "I guess you have your answer then," I responded jokingly.

The question stuck with me for a while. I began to wonder if I really did know who I was, and did it really matter. I guess for me that is not a question with a easy answer. I don't like classifying people to a few character attributes. I like to think that we are evolving throughout our life, learning and building on previous knowledge which adds to who we are. That said, I do think each of us has an uniqueness, a spirit, that speaks the truth of who we are. As my husband said, "your you." I think he was referring to that unique quality.
I am not sure that a spirit is something that can truly be defined. You just know it when you see it. It is the life that flickers in a persons eyes. You can also see it when that life force is dead or dying. When that spirit is being ignored or has been so damaged that it cannot repair itself.

"Who I am" is that which I have always been. I suppose I look to God for that definition because I believe it is that love which gives me my essence, my flicker. It is how I display that love through my life that defines me to those around me. When I ignore that love, I become someone I do not like, someone afraid and angry, but when I hold on to that love, then I feel alive and awake. I am able to display the best parts of myself to the world around me. "Who I am" can be found in everyday actions, thoughts, hugs, smiles or frowns, arguments, and moments of bliss.

So "who I am" does not have a simple definable characteristic, as I am sure is the case for everyone. But for the case of making this entry a little more entertaining here are few tidbits that describe some of "who I am":

My eyes change color with my mood (green and brown)
I hate fat, ligaments, and tendons in meat. I recently took a chicken wrap and dissected it into little parts. Made eating very challenging.
I usually have 3 books going at the same time
I can corral cats
I love wearing hats
I hum tunes that I make up when I am gardening
I am consistently inconsistent (or is it inconsistently consistent?)
I love cheese curds. I love how they squeak on my teeth.
I wear a cross around my neck that I have had since I was 16.
I am the person my friends come to for advice, but wish I was the friend that people called up to party with.
When I am alone, I can be found dancing to music for hours.
I love taking photos, and I don't care if they are "worthy" or not.
I have a very good memory. I am great at regurgitating facts, just don't ask me where I parked my car.
While living in San Diego I was a volunteer for a wildlife rehab organization. I took in 2 batches of abandoned ducklings (about 25 total) into my home. I was living in a condo. I never imagined ducks could produce so much poop.
I laugh really loudly. I can't help it.
As a kid, I use to love to roam around empty buildings. I was always curious what was in the next room, or up those set of stairs. I was also curious if I would get caught. I never did.
I love Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches
I love snowball fights and water fights (until someone gets hurt)
I love strawberry-rhubarb pie in the summer
My favorite moments in life are when I my mind, body, and spirit are all one. It is a freedom that can't be explained.
I love the solitude of the outdoors. I can hear myself think.