Being Home

Now that I have nearly crossed over the 2 year mark of my return to the land of Zion, I wanted to sit back and reflect on the experiences that have come my way.

When I chose to come back to the town of my roots, I did so not wanting to "come home." I knew that the home I once new was no more. I wanted to come back to Utah and to Salt Lake to start new but in a familiar place. I wanted to make my own home, my own space within the comfortable arms of the Wasatch mountains. I was fully aware it wouldn't be easy. There is a different mind set here, parts of which I subscribe to, others that I vehemently do not, but that can be found in most any community. I can honestly say that I am home, my home.

That all being said, I have noticed some strange idiosyncrasies, most of which I had forgotten over the 14 years I was gone.

Fry Sauce - This lovely concoction is a staple in the fast food diet. My first reminder of this dish was at a Greek shop downtown when I was asked "would you like fry sauce for an extra $.35." I stared into space and then started to laugh as I said yes. I had completely forgotten about this ketchup-Mayo mix. Nothing like adding a little fat to those lean mean French fries.

Some of the most annoying, stupid jingles on the radio I have ever heard. If I have to listen to the Arnie impersonation for Gold's Gym, or the Low Book Sales jingle one more time, I will scream!

Young mother's syndrome- The other day I happened to be walking around a park close to my home when coming towards me was what could only be called NASCAR via stroller. As these mom's blew by me (some with double wide's), I was shocked to see that everyone was at least 10 years my junior. People start procreating at a very young age here, at least compared to the rest of the nation. This craze in child rearing seems to cross all cultural, economic, and religious lines. I figure it is something they are adding to the water system so they can keep the marketing mantra for Utah as "Family Friendly."

Big, thick, cluncky shoes. Many of the younger girls wear these massive shoes. I am not sure if this is isolated to just this area, but they look like an attempt at high heels while still maintaining the "flat" appearance. All I can say is I hope the U is producing more podiatrists for the future.

Love of 80s music. Now this is one that I like. Just yesterday I heard The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, and Yaz while running to the grocery store. Tonight returning from the airport I heard Alphaville. How many radio stations out there play that group anymore? I have to say that I am getting a little sick of the Violent Fems.

Haunted Houses. Little did I know when I left here many years ago that most of the rest of the human race didn't go to level of celebrating Halloween the way they do here. I really like it, always have. The houses are open from September until the first of November for all your freakish fun requirements.

The liquor laws......well not much needed to say about this. There have been improvements made (I can have a glass of wine with dinner now), but it still has its irksome quirks.

A linguist I met in Morocco said she could tell there was an accent when I spoke, but couldn't detect what it was. Utahns actually have their own dialect (a study came out just after I moved back). That's why I say pellow rather than pillow.

Sadly, only about 10% of Utahns actually go out and enjoy the beautiful nature that surrounds them.

There are only two general groups of people living in Utah. This line is drawn with church membership. Better said, if you're Jewish, Catholic, Lutheran, Hindu, or Atheist you are a member of the church of "Non Mormon." If you are a member, even if you aren't really practicing or even believe in the teachings, you are Mormon. That's it! Unfortunately, this religious line is also generally a political one. However, I have heard in the underground networks that there is a small ripple of LDS that are burning their republican card memberships. Shhhh.
(* These statements are my observations and opinions. Don't leave an annonoymous comment of "Mormon Hater." The above mentioned observations are less to do with LDS doctrine and more to do with cultural dynamics of power.)

There is nothing like RCWilley's Weekend Sales! As an added bonus with that lovely sofa or dinette set, come in for the free Hot Dogs!

That's all I can think of right now. Its time to call it a day.