There's that ringing in my ears

When I turned 30 I began to realize that my body was not as indestructible as I had previously thought. One night, I began to hear a slight ringing or buzzing in my right ear. I thought it may be a mosquito and began to swat the air around my head, but the buzzing was still there. I turned on my light to look around for a bug of some sort (I was living in Florida at the time, bugs are everywhere), but nothing. After a few more nights of this constant buzzing sound, I started to realize that the noise was coming from inside my head. "O God," I thought to myself, "this is it. I am finally losing my mind." I began to poke and massage my ear and realized that this little buzzing noise was coming from inside my ear. I began to have flashbacks to some creepy Twilight Zone or Outer Limits program where one of the characters found a bug nesting in his ear. I freaked out and began to irrigate my ear with water using one of those baby booger suction devises. I was desperate. Please just make it stop! It didn't.
After a few weeks, I decided to go see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. This Doctor was "Old South," probably in his 80's, very stoic, and unmoved by my fear about what was going on with me. He look in my ear, looked in my throat, asked my if I work around heavy machinery, or play the music in my car too loudly. I have been known to jam to music, but I can normally still hear my voice humming along. He then sent me to an audiologist for hearing tests. My hearing was fine. The conclusion was that it was Tinnitus with no cure. "Just learn to live with it," was the advice I received. Over time, I just accepted it and trained myself to not hear it.

A few years later, I woke up to a spinning room. I had begun to experience Vertigo. The ringing in my ears was extremely loud. I couldn't even stand up without falling over. My husband (a pilot) said it sounded like I had "the Lean's" which is an aeronautical term pilots use after they have been spun around inside the spacial disorientation trainer, or in pilot terminology the "spin and puke." I was standing in my kitchen, but I felt as if I was leaning over. I was a mess. I went to go see a Navy ENT doctor this time. I told him my symptoms and he began to do a range of tests. He was a reservist (part-time), and saw this as an opportunity to brush up on his skills. He began to shove wires up my nose and down my throat, and inspected my ear thoroughly. He couldn't say for sure, but he thought I might have Multiple Sclerosis. My heart exploded. "What!!" I have worked with MS patients when I was a nurse assistant just out of high school. I remember taking care of them because they couldn't take care of themselves. Life as I had known it, was over.
He sent me to have an MRI of my brain. I don't think there has ever been another time in my life where I have been so frightened. Things being already as stressful as they were, my MRI was on a Monday and my Doctor would not be back to read the results until.....you guessed it, the following weekend! I think that was the longest week of my life. Late Saturday night, I received the phone call I was both waiting impatiently for and dreading at the same time. The results came back negative. He could find nothing on my brain (no pun intended). The sunshine came back to my face and I could breathe again. But he still couldn't figure out what was going on. I didn't care, the dizzy spells were gone and I was happy to be alive!
A few months later, another attack set in. My vertigo wasn't as bad, but I was so tired. I couldn't get enough sleep. After a few days, it also subsided. But this time, I decided to do my own investigations. I got on the Internet and put in a search for "ringing in ears + dizzy spells." To my surprise, the result produced entry after entry of "Meniere's disease." I started reading over it. That was it. I have Meniere's disease. Why could neither doctor diagnose this? Word for word, the symptoms are exactly my symptoms.
On the good side, I found out what was wrong with me. On the bad, there is no cure and in some cases leads to deafness. Later, I found out that many members of my family also have the same problem, they just didn't have a name for it. One of my cousin's was actually diagnosed with MS, and many years later she found that this was the wrong diagnosis and that she too, had Meneire's disease. Can you imagine going so long thinking you have MS?
So why this long diatribe? After more than 2 years, I had a bad attack this week. Dizziness, nausea, sleepiness, and for the first time, vomiting. I have been out of it, and am just now trying to recover after a whole week gone by. I realize now that it usually surfaces due to my inability to deal with the stresses I place on myself. My anxiety goes up, and when my body can no longer handle it, an attack sets in. Sort of like an alarm bell reminding me to take better care of myself. There is no cure, and very little is available to treat it. I just have to get better at taking care of myself and keeping my anxiety levels down.
Meneire's is a dark spot on my life that reminds how precious life it, and how I take it for granted. It is easy to forget about it when the attacks don't happen, but when they arrive, it is a brutal reminder to me of what is really important in my life.