Love thy Neighbor

Last night we attended the annual "Princeton Ice Cream Party." A few of the neighbors get together every year and provide goodies for everyone. We, the remaining neighbors, come to gorge ourselves on sweets and to meet each other. It was my first time in attendance. I know most of my direct neighbors, those that live in close proximity to my house, but there are many that I don't know including new people that have moved in. I spent most of my time chatting with a Journalism student that is renting a house a few doors up. He talked about his experiences writing for the local paper during his summer internship, and his dreams of becoming a Novelist. I just nodded my head and listened.
Later there was Michael, who appears to be about 14 but still acts like he is 8. He shared with me a lengthy story about a previous home owner's (my home) car and how is head and this parked car collided one afternoon while he was running down the street. The story came with sound descriptions of which I cannot recreate with the written word, as well as gory blood scenes which I am sure have been multiplied by 10 easily. My husband had two servings of the cool, soupy cream that had been in a solid form earlier in the evening. I had a Popsicle. We chatted for about an hour and then made our way home.
Later, I reminisced about how nice everyone that lives here is (except the Dog man, who lets his dogs run about, shitting all over the place). We have such a diverse group that live here, not what one would expect living in Utah. Most of us are professionals, most are married with kids, all kinds of different ages, and we are all different in race and religion. It is a small microcosm of America. Part of the big pot finding common ground and friendship over a bowl of soupy ice cream.

Hope you have a minute....or two

Here are some photos from my trip.. I actually did narrow them down to just a couple, but I thought they gave a fairly good representation of my trip. I took the one at the top of this page at the Botanical Gardens.


Lincoln Memorial, Capital, and a sunset walk at the Mall.

At the National Galleries I was shocked to find out that not only could I take photos, but I could also use my flash. I couldn't do it, use my flash, so some of these photos are not as clear as I would have liked, but I have my limits. Below is a statue that I became enchanted with. Her beauty, and her physical form were so breathtaking I couldn't keep my eyes off her. The most beautiful aspect of her though is the delicate space that lingers between her fingers and the tip of the faun's nose. Everything about her is just beautiful to me.

Below is an exhibit in the Smithsonian Natural History museum. Pretty amazing sight in person.

Union Station in the first picture, the second is an amazing (boy I use that word a lot, better get out the Thesaurus) bronze sculpture I came across one evening titled "illuminated crowd" in Georgetown. This is only one little piece of it, but it was an amaaa...no...a moving piece of artwork.

Below is a statue that I looked up to as I crossed a bridge to get over to the Kennedy Center.

A few pics from the air and space museum.

Below is a picture that I took while catching a rest at a cafe inside the Smithsonian visitor center. The center is a Bodhisattva statue from like the 9th dynasty or something. I kind of snuck into this gallery (the Freer Gallery) as they were about to close and found myself in a room of Buddha's and Bodhisattva's. I was all alone and I just sat there staring at these most tranquil, ancient pieces. After a few minutes, a man found me and with his scolding eyes, told me they were closing. The last, but not least is the one of only two photos my hubby remembered to take for me (there is a reason that I am always behind the camera). It is inside the Capital building.

Please feel free to open any of the pictures to get a better look.

Sushi, Sukhavati, and Sudden Showers

Last night I was craving some sushi. It is one of my normal food groups that I have when I am home alone. It comes in single serving size, it is not too filling, and it is very portable. Plus it tastes really good. It's not that my husband doesn't enjoy sushi as well, but I do seem to eat more of it alone than with him. Maybe some people have microwave dinners when they are single, I eat sushi. I live within walking distance to a good Japanese restaurant that has take out, so as my craving sat in, I made my way to my little shop ordered my sushi and spring rolls and walked home.
I also watch programs that interest me, but don't necessarily interest my husband. At first it was a series of different British crime thrillers (Waking the Dead, Wire in the Blood, MI-5, etc..), but I have managed to get Larry addicted to those as well. A couple of days ago I received Sukhavati which I had been waiting for months from Netflix. Sukhavati is basically an hour long seminar given by Joseph Campbell. I became interested in Campbell many years ago after catching The Power of Myth on PBS. His vast amount of knowledge on comparative myths and religion is astounding. Sukhavati discusses iconic imagery within the myths of the human and spiritual experience. When he talks he goes so fast and discusses so much information that smoke starts coming out of my ears.

As I was watching this program, I realized that I may have misspoke a few posts back regarding my theories on religion. I actually do find religion to be very fascinating. I do believe that religion offers a sense of purpose and connection to something much greater than ourselves. What I said about it, as an institution, how it can often times do many wrongs is not because of the religion, philosophy, theology itself, but of how Man can often times fall to the power/control that can be interpreted out of the religion. It is therefore man's abuses of religion that can cause pain and death and sorrow, not necessarily the religion itself. But then again, I guess that is the experience of life. Anyway, I think I am still trying to wrap my mind around all of it. I think I really love learning, being wrong, and then learning again. The Zohar has also sparked my interest as of late. That throws my brain in a completely different direction. It is all very fascinating. I think Campbell said it best (to paraphrase):

"We often feel like we are falling out of control, but it is when we see that act of
falling as a voluntary action, we change the way see the world and our place within it."

As I was watching the program and eating my sushi the outdoors began to light up with bright, white lightening. The sky rumbled and crackled, then surprisingly it began to rain.....again. Two nights in a row! I stepped outside and sat in my rocking chair and watched the light as it blinded me. Better yet, it rained well into the night. I went to bed around midnight and I could still hear the drops hitting my window.

Outside of Larry being gone, it was a perfect evening for me.

*I don't know what is up with the script here, but I can't fix it.*

My Latest Travels

So what do stuffed animals, rockets, Rembrandt, a White House, 128 photos, and pink thighs all have in common? Any guesses? Probably not.
The stuffed animals are at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, the rockets are at the Air and Space Museum, the Rembrandt's are at the National Museum of Art, the White House is well....the White House, 128 is the amount of photos I took while in D.C., and the pink thighs are what happened when I feel asleep in front of the pool yesterday.

I just got back from my trip to Washington D.C.. I had a fabulous time and would love to go again. Although I put a lot of miles on my feet, I feel like I barely scratched the surface of what D.C has to offer. The Metro is a great tool to get around, and I loved using it. It makes our little TRAX system here look like it's still in the womb. If you have never been to D.C., I highly recommend it. Most would recommend the fall for temperatures and numbers of bodies, but I lucked out with unusually cooler temps for the 5 days I was there. It was still muggy (at least for me now that I'm a desert rat), but not horribly hot. Some of the "kid friendly" museums had way too many people in them, so I didn't spend as much time in them as I would have liked, but that allowed me to spend more time in the art museums and galleries, which in some cases I was the only one in the room.

I couldn't even begin to write about everything there is to do and see, but with all the Museums (some were closed for renovation), the Capital, the Lincoln memorial (which is amazing at night), Jefferson Memorial, Washington Memorial, Arlington, countless galleries, Georgetown, the Kennedy center (which is amazing, and I was fortunate enough to catch a free concert one evening), the Botanical gardens, the sculpture gardens, the Libraries of Congress (there are three), and the creme de le creme; seeing the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution inside the National Archives, you can easily conclude how long it could take to really see everything (and I have left many things out). I heard a statistic while I was there that if you spent 30 seconds at each exhibit you could not see everything in a single lifetime. One day I had been on my feet for 14 hours with only minor stops for some food and drink. My calves let me know it the next day too.

Unfortunately for this post I don't have any photos because I left the camera with the hubby before coming home. He doesn't get back until Friday, and he had a meeting with a local Congressman yesterday in the Capital. I thought the camera might be better with him than coming home with me. I did finally manage to replace the camera that met its demise in the Pacific ocean back in April, so I think I got some really good shots.

I really loved D.C., not just the Mall and all the stuff, but the energy and youth of the people that lived there. Given, I counted at least 7 colleges and universities within about a 10 mile radius, its no wonder. People are extremely driven there. Everyone is exercising, playing games in the Mall, and activities abound. I loved it! I think if I had a child, I would definitely point them in that direction for college. It would be a great place to live and learn.

I barely got home last night. The flight out of Washington was, of course, full. As a stand-by passenger I am used to the stresses of not being able to get on a flight, but I knew that the rest of the week was already over-sold, and forget about connecting to Atlanta. Additionally, with those stupid 3oz rules, I checked my bag, which meant that if I couldn't get on I would be stuck in D.C. with no supplies for who knows how long. At the last possible minute they finally approved the stand-by's. I was about to have a heart attack. I was relieved when I got into my seat. Then the tapping began. Just as I was about to shut my eyes for a little dozer, the back of my headrest was taken over by some demon called a 12 year old that didn't quite understand that the little T.V. in front of her was also connected to my seat. She had also concluded that the "touch screen" meant "punch screen." If I wasn't so tired, I would have turned around and had some words, but being 12, with no parent nearby, I decided it just wasn't worth it. I cuddled up next to the window and fell asleep.

Once at the airport I stood at the baggage carousel for 50 minutes waiting for my bag to show up, which it never did. I went over to lost baggage only to find out my bag some how managed not to be on the carousel with everyone else from Washington, but it had miraculously walked over to the Seattle carousel because it felt like playing hide and seek with me. Fun! That's 50 minutes I'll never get back. To say the least, I was pooped and was happy to be home.

Quenching a thirst

After a 2 month drought with no rain, dry, fire-sparking lightening, and averaging 100 degree temperatures, the last few days were a reprieve. Every morning and evening we have had thunderstorms roll through sometimes only providing spits of rain, other times we get an actual downpour, either way it is refreshing to say the least. There is something about the rain here in the Mountains. It smells different than any other place I have lived. The skies move turning a dark shade of blue grey, and then the winds pick up, tossing dust everywhere. The water that precipitates is so cold from the high atmosphere that temperatures drop suddenly. Then there's the smell, that wonderful cold, dust smell. Sometimes if your lucky you can catch the scent of wet pine in the mix. I don't know why, but I love the smell of the rain here.

Last night a rather good storm passed through around 8:00p.m and I just stood in the doorway staring out at the sky, letting the cool wind pass through me. It offers such rejuvenation, especially when it has been so oppressive lately. I stood there watching the wind have its way with the trees, later feeling the cool rain on my skin and loving the fact the I was getting wet.

That's one thing about living here, you never take the weather for granted. One moment it can be hot and dry, next the skies will suddenly open up and offer a slight cool down. Whatever the day offers, enjoy it for the moment because you never no how much longer it will last.

What is it about starting over?

Today I registered for classes to start down the path that will lead me to becoming a Speech Language Pathologist. I had been hemming and hawing for the last month on when to register. I realize now that it was mostly because I am just afraid of going a new direction in my life. I know this is not an uncommon feeling to have. But for me it is not just going back to school and starting a new job, but it feels like I am starting new in almost every arena of my life. I often look to my mother-in-law for mentoring. At the age of 60 she picked up ballet again after 40 years! And at the youthful age of 65 she went back to school for her Doctorate.

This last weekend I found a dance school for adults (please no mother/wife references, we are similar and also very different). My first reaction was to squeal with delight which was quickly followed by criticism and doubt, "I bet I am really out of shape. It has been 17 years *sigh* since I last took a real dance class, will I look like an elephant trying to lift my leg up onto the bar? Will I be the old lady in the class? No....not a leotard....that's going to show everything!" Yes, those are actual thoughts rummaging around in this head of mine. Even with all the criticism, I know this is what I want even if I do look like an elephant.

I am crossing the t's and dotting the i's on my resume. I have downloaded some applications with the Salt Lake school district and am hopeful to land a speech aide position for the fall. Getting a new job is always full of uncertainty. Will I fit in with those around me? How will I be perceived? Will I have time to devote to both work and school? All these questions are bound to lead to some doubt, but I know this is what I want, so I will continue on.

I am also dusting off the cobwebs of my old business plan. Three years ago I had a full fledged small business I was running out of my home in Florida. My mom is lighting a firecracker under my butt, as she now wants to be a distributor for me down in Florida. I am looking forward to getting it under way again, and hope to soon. Now, how can I trick my husband into working for me?

These are all steps to living the life I want to live, and to being the person I want to be. I know that is a good thing, but boy that fear thing can sometimes really take a hold. I am always battling my "fear" demon, and his close brother "doubt." It is hard some days, but what can one do? I guess I could just do nothing. But past experiences have told me that leads to misery. I must take a leap of faith and go forward, take a stand or fall (okay so that isn't what the song is about, but what the heck, it gives me a reason to play a great song). After all, if my Mother-in-law could change her life at 60+, I can at 35!

Saying Goodbye

I have been spoiled the last 2 months. My husband has been home almost every night for dinner. This constitutes as being spoiled in my book. Today that ended when I dropped him off at the airport this morning for a two week trip to Washington D.C.. Our relationship/marriage is probably not "common" in the world of traditional marriages, what with him being an airline pilot and also a Naval Officer in the Reserves, he is usually gallivanting from one end of the globe to the other. Add to that we also live in Salt Lake City which is not a hot spot for Naval activity, and has only one pilot base (Delta). It is easy to see that much of the time we are apart.

I could probably sit here and tell you that it is a great way to live, that because of it I am soooo independent, and that we can do whatever we want whenever we want. I could tell you this and it would be partly true, but it would also be misleading. It is a lifestyle that has its challenges. I often find myself giving up on doing things that I want to do, so that I can spend more time with him while he has that unusual full day off. We rarely if ever actually have a schedule more than one month out (if we're lucky), so forget trying to plan anything with more than 4 weeks notice; doctor's appointments, birthday parties, family activities, or just trying to plan a simple get together with friends is almost impossible. And forget having traditional weekends off together. Most of the time his weekend is mid work week for everyone else. I have come to terms with the fact that I must have a life of my own without him, which means I end up doing many things bachelorette style. Just as our life was in the military, I often make my own way and when he can, he joins me.

This morning we left early to go out to breakfast before heading off to the airport. We started talking about what we would be doing while apart (me mostly), and how much we will miss each other until I arrive next week. And then he said something that stung me, "someday you'll realize that you know longer need me." I wanted to know what he meant by this. So I prodded him until he stated his fear. Essentially it came down to the fact that in the day to day running of life I don't "need" him to fulfill obligatory duties. I guess he is right in that aspect. I take care of everything here at the house that needs to be done; yard, home, bills, occasional neighbor dog poop scooping, taking out the trash etc... . But I don't see them as he/she jobs, they are just jobs that have to be done whether his is home or not. Apparently this was his point. I don't "need" him to take out the trash. I don't "need" him to mow the lawn. I don't "need" him to deal with the cell phone company for charging us a late fee because they lost the check. It will be taken care of it, and most of the time it will get taken care of by me.

I suppose it is like this for many men that are often away from home, this feeling of needing to be needed. I posed the question, "should I leave stuff for you to do, so that when you get home you can take out stinky 2 week old trash, or leave you to deal with the bills that are now past due?" He smirked at me. Guess not.

What it really comes down to is knowing that I am still here when he comes home , that I still love him, that we are still happy, and although not as much as we may like, we still have our life together.

After a few more minutes of discussion I looked into his eyes and asked, "but isn't it nice to know that I am here because I want you, and not because I need you?" He smiled back at me with a small drip of syrup on his lip, "yes. Yes it is."


A side note: Last night I made this dessert that was yummy. It is fresh berries between a sweet potato biscuit with fresh cream. It is summer wonderful. I just wanted to take a picture and share.

The One "True" Church

After reading the Vatican's statement on Tuesday, I was both angered and troubled.

"Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches."

"....It (the document) restates key sections of a 2000 document the pope wrote when he was prefect of the congregation, "Dominus Iesus," which set off a firestorm of criticism among Protestant and other Christian denominations because it said they were not true churches but merely ecclesial communities and therefore did not have the "means of salvation."

"...The document said Orthodox churches were indeed "churches" because they have apostolic succession and that they enjoyed "many elements of sanctification and of truth." But it said they lack something because they do not recognize the primacy of the pope - a defect, or a "wound" that harmed them, it said."

(provided by The Associated Press)

As long as I can remember, I have always struggled with this idea of "one truth, one church, one way of believing, and one way to salvation." To hear the Catholic Church reiterate its position on its superiority in the realm of Christianity, I once again feel the need to dialogue my confusion. As my husband says, I am always asking the "why" question to which there is no satisfactory answer. I suppose in many ways I am like a child always asking "why" when most could care less, let alone find a question to be asked.

My first question is why would the church make such a declaration during a time which by doing so will only lead to more divisions amongst humanity? I could come up with no real answer except that it is the Catholic church's position (and the position of other churches as well) that there can only be one authentic Christian church. Since they (Catholic Church) have apostolic lines going back to Apostle Peter, they must be the real deal, and the rest of us are just pretending to be Christians.

Next, I need to break down the Christian religion down to the man that bears its name, Christ. I make no pretense that I am a scholar of Religion let alone the Bible. I have made it a goal in life to not get caught up in Religion as it pertains to human interests. What does that mean? My own philosophy is that I believe Religion, being made of man but inspired from above, is not without faults. It has divided people and caused much war and bloodshed. It has been consumed with the legalism and politics of the Bible (or Koran, etc...), not with the love and peace that I was taught in my youth. Religion is for man, I agree, but it comes with man's attachments thus it is not immune from man's weaknesses (i.e. power, control, etc..). It is imperfect. As Christians, it is why God gave his only son, who died for our sins and imperfections.

As I write this I take pause, and out of habit take the cross that is around my neck and slide it through my fingers. My cross is now rough around the edges, scratched up, and has loss its luster, but yet I wear it everyday. I have no membership to any church, but yet I wear this cross. Why? Do I wear it to make a statement, to separate myself from those around me? Or do I wear it to fit in? Neither. I wear to remind myself of that day when I was 16 and knelt down in front on my family and congregation, my head down, and my Pastor who, with a handful of water, laid his hands on me and baptized me. I knew at that moment that God's love was with me always. I don't think I am humanly able to use words that could depict an accurate picture of what overcame me, but it was real, and it is transcendent and eternal. I wear this cross for me, and only for me. Does that mean by wearing such an item I should join a church and study the scriptures, become legalistic and dogmatic? Does that mean I must attend Church every Sunday to be a Christian? Does it now mean I must become Catholic in order for my baptism and its meaning to be real? I have to say no. No one, not the Pope, nor any Prophet, could tell me that my experiences that day are meaningless and have no real value, or that because I wear a cross around my neck, but don't attend a church, that I am not a "real" Christian.

My last question(s) is what is with this need to be right, to be exceptional, to be the one and only? Where does this get us as humans? Is it just much too much to ask people to just be people, to learn from one another, and appreciate the differences rather than make the differences into a class structure? If you spend anytime around children, you see this tug of war going on where they are expending a lot of time trying to stand out, trying to separate themselves from the rest of the pack (and at times going to excessive lengths to do so). Part of this is just finding out who they are, and what kind of person they will be, but when you see that same mentality in an adult, the first thing that comes to mind is "egocentric." Is that what Religion is, egocentric? Is everyone trying to lay claim to God, to salvation, to the life after this life all because of their egos? I don't know. All I know is that what I believe is only important to me and not anyone else. I am no better than anyone else, and I would never presume that my way is the right way. I believe that everyone has their own path to take, and where it leads them is not for me to say. I want to learn from people that want to educate me. I crave dialogue and open discussion without judgement and presumption.

In the end, I can only take what the Vatican said this week and try an make some sense of it, put it in its rightful place. My search to understand will continue until I die. But until then (hopefully when I am really, really old), I will know Christ and what he taught about love, God's love. It is my belief that this is what this life is for, at least it is for me.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God ... Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us."

~1 John 4:7, 11-12

Buyer Beware!!!

I just got back from shipping a box at the Post Office. I was sending my mom her birthday present. I chose a box that was a bit larger than I needed because I wanted to have extra space for padding. Unbeknowst to me, the USPS has completely redone the way they compute shipping boxes via Priority Service. For boxes over 1 cubic foot, postage is no longer figured via actual weight. It is figured via dimensional weight.

What is dimensional weight? Well, I didn't get a good answer, but apparently because my box was 16X20X20 but only held 4 lbs of weight, the price went from $15 (which I thought was already insane) to a whopping $26 because of the size of the box. Yeah! That makes sense!

Apparently, the post office did this because the airlines that carry Priority mail are now billing them for dimensional weight. The airlines simply calculate the "volume" of space the pallet of boxes takes up in their cargo hold and then charges a flat rate regardless of weight.

So the post office is just passing along their cost to their customers. Yippee!

I chose to send my mom's gift via standard ground which will take 7 days, so I will miss her birthday. I felt it was ridiculous to spend $26.00 for something that 2 months ago cost $15.00.

Just a little consumer awareness for anyone who reads this. Either plan way ahead and use their 7 day rate, use a small box and pack the hell out of it, or use a competitor (which is what I will be doing).

Dog Lake

Today I went on a 5 mile hike up Big Cottonwood Canyon. "Dog Lake" wasn't much of a lake, but the hike itself was beautiful. For starters, it was about 15 degrees cooler up there, and although we have had no water and too much heat recently, there were plenty of beautiful flowers. Mountain Lupin and Mountain Columbine were everywhere against a back drop of Blue Spruce and Aspen. It was a tough hike (1900 ft in 2.5 miles), but well worth it. Could have used another liter or two of water though. On my way back down the canyon, mildly sore, hot, stinky, and covered in dirt, Free Fallin' by Tom Petty came on the radio and for some reason it seemed like the perfect song for my day.

Move that Body

Every morning I get up and do a series of exercises to get the blood pumping. Lately I have been addicted to this song. It seems to have a beat and rhythm that just gets me going. So get that unitard out of moth balls and boogie. Enjoy!

To recap

This last week was rather Summerish (couldn't come up with a better description). Larry had his weekend on Tuesday and Wednesday, and since it has been record temperature hot, I spent most of the weekend doing "inside" stuff. Since buying this house, I have come respect the master craftsman. I have learned a lot about woodwork and and what it really takes to make wood look beautiful and rich. What does it take most of? Patience, and lots of it. I have 5 wood doors in the hallway that I have procrastinated on refinishing. So last weekend I started to tackle the beastly job. Triple steel wool, followed by a layer of Tung oil, dry for 24 hours, repeat. The more layers of Tung oil, the more beautiful the wood. By about the 3rd door my wrists were aching and I was starting have thoughts like "why are their two sides to each door?" I am still continuing on and will eventually have 3 coats on each door. I figure that will be enough for now, and I can add some more later this winter. I broke away from my work to eat and read Harry Potter's 5th book. I am trying to finish it in time for the movie. Only 600 pages to go.

Tuesday we decided to finally make our way south to Draper and go to the recently opened IKEA. Having lived in So Cal for many years, IKEA is nothing knew to us, but the weekend it opened in Draper there were people that had been waiting days, camped out, for the grand opening. That is just a little ridiculous in my opinion. We wondered around for hours. If you have never been to an IKEA than you probably can't understand how one can get lost for hours inside of one. It is like going through a maze of bedrooms, wall units, couches and chairs, all with names like IFLAVO and BILKLAK (I'm just making them up), and it just goes on forever. I used to really love shopping at IKEA when I was younger, but now the furniture looks a little too "temporary" to me. They do have some great gadget stuff though, and really inexpensive. I did like their kitchen designs as well. Very contemporary and European. Not big, but very well organized. We probably spent 3 hours there and left with only three things. Probably the biggest difference from this experience vs. the California stores was the buffet. Inside each IKEA is a Swedish buffet (Swedish meatballs and stuff), and in California we would hardly ever see anyone in these restaurants, but here....there was a line out the door! Must be some good meatballs!

The 4th of July was very low key. Most of my family was out of town, but since Larry had to be back at work on the 5th, we stayed home. We started out the day with a walk to the park and fed the geese and baby ducklings, came home and mowed the lawn while consuming large quantities of water and Gatorade. Afterwards we passed out in the air conditioning for a few hours trying to cool our body temperatures. Around 3:00, we went to Sugarhouse for their annual Arts Festival. It will probably be the last of its kind. Old Sugarhouse is changing, and in most ways for the good. In August, an entire block of the area is going to be torn down and replaced with newer retail, office, and some residential. It will be sad if all the independent business close their doors, but I am hoping that they just relocate. The Arts Festival had more of "farewell" feel to it, then one of creativity and fun. For me, I like seeing the improvements made, but I do have my own memories of "clubbing" here in the 80s when it was considered a somewhat sketchy part of town. One of my old hang outs is now a restaurant, with another converted into an Old Navy. My only hope is that with change they do take the history of the place into account and design accordingly.
I digress.....After sweating in the hot sun, we stopped off at an Italian Ice place and made ourselves sick with overly sugared Ice. Once you've had the real thing, not much compares.

For dinner we barbecued some chicken I had marinated, with corn and fresh pineapple. We finished it off with apple pie a la mode. With the Gatorade, the Italian Ice, pineapple, and apple pie, I realized that I had consumed too much sugar, the result being a nice stomach ache. Once dusk hit, we headed back to Sugarhouse to the park to watch the fireworks. It was, to say the least, a crazy madhouse. We ended up sitting across the street from the park on the lawn of some office buildings. It really wasn't the best place as we couldn't hear the music for the show, instead we were bombarded with the crap music from the cars piling up in front of us. After the show we came back home and passed out.

Hopefully this weekend I will get up to the higher elevations and into some cooler temps. We'll see!

A Simple Post

Just one of my favorite songs......

Happy 4th of July!!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.

Are you Highly Sensitive?

A few posts back I wrote about the spirit-like presence in my home that I encountered one windy night. At that time I wrote about me being what is termed HSP, or a Highly Sensitive Person (some go as far as saying Empath, but I don't know much on that subject). This was something that was told to me, but I never considered it more than just label for someone that is extra sensitive both emotionally and to my surroundings, and actually considered it a weakness.

As a child I was introverted and painfully shy. In our American society of idealizing the outlandish, the aggressive, and "in your face" attitude, I learned early that me being me was just not going to cut it, and I would be nothing if I continued on my path of being overly sensitive. As most children that try to please their parents, their teachers, and anyone they admire, I taught myself how to be more acceptable. In some ways this was good. I got over some of my shyness and began to build confidence in myself where I could. In other ways, as I shut down my sensitivity, I also shut down a lot of my "gut" reflexes and stopped listening to those things I now call "knowings." This cost me a lot of growth, and eventually I became very lost.

Fast forward a few years to the present and I am now starting to listen again to myself and becoming more confident in me being who I am, sensitivity and all. It is still hard sometimes. I really have to work at it everyday, but I am getting there. It is sad as I reflect on the time I consider lost because I was always trying to be something I wasn't and making myself very miserable. On the plus side I am finding my way back step by step, day by day. I guess that counts for something.

I recently came across a self-test out of a book for HSP. It looks a little like a sex-test out of Cosmo or something, but if you are interested take a look.....

Are You Highly Sensitive?

A Self-Test

Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you personally feel. Check if it is at least somewhat true for you; leave unchecked if it is not very true or not at all true for you. (my comments are in grey)

I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input. (Electronics and their buzzing sounds can start to irritate me after a while)

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

Other people's moods affect me. (Please don't put me in a room with people that have just argued, it makes extremely uncomfortable)

I tend to be very sensitive to pain. (Emotional pain especially)

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation. (Actually, I have made my home that place I can retreat to. It is very peaceful, when I'm not working on a project.)

I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine. (I would add alcohol as well)

I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by. (My house is generally on the lower illumination side. I hate ceiling lights, especially without a dimmer).

I have a rich,complex inner life. (I find myself talking to myself, does that count?)

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises. (I do like my music loud though, it tends to drown everything else out).

I am deeply moved by the arts or music. (That would be a understatement)

My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go offby myself. (and if I'm really frazzled, I am usually off by myself on the pot, stomach problems are always Stage 1)

I am conscientious.

I startle easily. (My husbands favorite attribute!)

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time. (I get the shakes)

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating). (This one is really strong for me, I feel their feelings as if they are words being played out before me).

I enjoy writing. (Like blogging perhaps?)

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things. (I can almost become OCD at times)

I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows. (Scary yes, violent no, especially when it seems too real)

Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.

Changes in my life shake me up.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art. (Yep, just check out my credit card! hahaha)

I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

Very attuned to animals. (Painfully so.)

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations. (I thought this was called avoidance?)

I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes. (No wonder I spent so much time alone in my room as a child).

Often found retreating to nature to become renewed. (One of the major reasons I moved to Utah)

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise. ( Forget it. I hate being scrutinized)

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy. (Where do I begin???)

So I answered yes to most every question (the hungry thing isn't really a button for me). Now I'm left wondering "Does everybody?" Is this one of those quizzes that is meant to label everybody as a Highly Sensitive Person? I can look at these questions and think most everyone probably would agree with many of them.
I guess what makes the HSP different is in the response, and how they recover from specific events. Maybe most people don't like being observed while doing a task, but they do it because they have to and afterwards it is easily forgotten. For the HSP though, they might start worrying about it days or even weeks before, even to the point of making themselves sick over it, and if during the task there is any criticism, it is taken personally and then they dwell on it for sometime after the event has passed.
In order to recover, usually one must tune out, meditate, pray, and find strength to move forward.