It's Simple

It was a beautiful day. I packed my backpack with some water and my camera and headed for the hills above the valley. Seven miles later, with an ache in my foot, a soaked through shirt, and a growling tummy, I came to ask myself a strange yet simple question, "How happy am I?" The answer came as a shock: "I think this is the happiest I have ever been."

Here I am alone, living without that man that I love, waking up alone, sleeping alone, eating alone, going to bed alone, and yet I am happier than I have ever been. I don't mean this as a jab to my husband because it is not meant that way. What I do mean is that although alone and not being "productive," not working towards any goal or completing any endeavor, not keeping myself saturated with "busy work," but just wandering up a hill and coming back down again, I find I am content. I no longer need anything or anyone to fill me up, to bring me joy, or to give my life meaning. I just put one foot in front of the other, understanding the adventure is now.

As I wandered my way on my path, my ears filled with the sounds of the creek and the singing birds, my nose filled with the most amazing smells of flowers and grasses, pines and oak. My eyes vision filled with the dance of butterflies and hummingbirds, flies and moths, and birds of every shade of color. My life is full of meaning and wonder, and all without having to do anything or be anyone. I have purpose by just being alive and aware.

I love to watch insects. I think it is because they are always busy surviving, living in the now. As I walked under the canopy of trees, I was hit with a barrage of caterpillars hanging from the trees. I didn't realize it until I found one hanging of the brim of my hat, in front of my eye. Later I found them scooting around on my back and backpack. Pretty sure the dead snake at the bottom is a baby rattler. The markings are rather significant to rattle snakes, and there are a lot of rattlers in this canyon.