Click to Give

I was on one of my boards this afternoon and someone posted this website. All you have to do is click on the site to give charity to Hunger, Breast Cancer, Literacy, Child Health, Rainforest, and Animal Rescue. 100% of the sponsor(s) money goes to the charities. It is easy and simple, and to quote Martha Stewart....."it's a good thing."
Please click away, and then pass on the info to your friends and family.



Thanks!

Photography 101

Last night I had my first photography class. It was informative, but I was happy that I had a basic understanding about what she was talking about. Some folks looked completely lost. Most everyone in the class had Digital SLR's, but me, old school girl, had an "antique" Nikkon film camera. I bought the camera about 5 years ago in an old second hand camera shop. I have used it some, but have never really known how to use it (the mechanics of it).

The instructor was drooling that someone in the class still appreciated the use of old technology. Within the first 15 minutes I understood more about my camera and about photography than all my previous knowledge combined.
She gave me the name of a guy in town that can help get me more parts and film for my camera. I am getting really excited to get into this and start taking some good old fashioned photos. The first week assignments are not too exciting; just taking a shot over and over while adjusting the apperture. A good photo is all about getting the right lighting. Photography is about light; how much light comes into the picture and how much stays out. It is simple really, but you have to know the basics in order to understand what that means. Now I am finally able to.

Side note - I got rid of my esips music because it was becoming more and more difficult to find mp3's as they changed their audio policy. I found playlist.com and have added a playlist. It is more for me than anyone else. This particular playlist is 80s music, the stuff I love and have many memories listening to. I will update it when I want to add more or take away. You can play each while on my blog or you can launch a stand alone which opens another page and listen that way. Enjoy!

That Thing I Love

Last night I watched Out of Africa again. Probably the tenth time I have seen it. This scene has to be one of my all time favorites. It feels like a dream to me. I don't think I have ever been able to hold back tears when I see this particular scene, especially when they fly over the flamingos. The music is fabulous as well, but I really love the sound of the wind at the end.
I found it on You Tube just so I could see it again. I thought I would post it here so I could see it over and over and over. It is best on a large screen, but sometimes you have to make due with what you have. Enjoy.

I'm at it again....

This couldn't be more perfect. Just so happens to my one of my favorite love stories!

Your Love Life is Like The Princess Bride

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. For you, love is like a fairy tale - albeit a fairly twisted one. You believe romance is all about loyalty, fate, and a good bit of goofy fun. Your love style: Idealistic yet quirky Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Perfectly romantic

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

AND.......(sorry it was a slow day)

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

A true friend

Over the years I have had friends come and go. Sometimes life just isn't always conducive to maintaining long term relationships especially if life takes you in different directions both physically and emotionally. Some friendships I have tried to hold on to only to find out that the friendship is just a ghostly reminder of a past gone by. Others drift away because we become different people with different ideas about what life should be. Then again there are those rare people in our lives that never seem to leave. Those, I have found, are the ones to hold on to.
This last weekend my girlfriend, Jody, came in for a short visit. I have written about her here in previous posts, but a little refresher wouldn't hurt. I have known Jody since 1992. We have been really good friends since 1995. In Florida, we lived in the same neighborhood for 2 of the years we lived there. Sometimes we go a long time without talking to each other, but somehow (usually because of her) we have kept in touch.
Through the years, she has had many bumps in the road (as have I), and through it all, she has always known she could talk to me, mostly because she knew I would just listen and not judge her. In December, she lost her baby while in her 4th month. It devastated her. I felt helpless to offer her any consolation. She lives in Georgia, and I am here. I felt like I could only try and understand her loss and offer compassion. A few weeks after Christmas, she called me to say she wanted to come visit me. I don't know why, but I somehow felt honored that she would want to come here after everything she had just gone through.

We had a nice relaxing weekend, and until today, the weather was wonderful. We went running up City Creek Canyon, went to the mall and shopped, went out to eat, went to a movie (ya know ...a chick flick), walked in the park, made stew together, drank 3 bottles of wine, and just talked for hours. I think it must have been relaxing for her since her home has a fairly demanding husband and a loud and active 7 year old. I think being here, she was just able to relax and have it be quiet.

What I didn't expect though, was how happy I was to have her around again. We talked about books, our work, our families, our husbands, and of course...sex. I began to realize that I needed her as much as she needed me. I realized that I am lucky because I can see the future and she will always be a part of it in some form or anther. But most importantly, I can see that although I have always told myself I can "do it on my own," that I really do need others. I do need people just to be there for me as much as I am there for them. Having her in my life is a gift and a joy.
As she left, I gave her a hug and told her how great it was to see her. She replied with, "we have to do this more often." I smiled and replied, "count on it."

Not to say this is who I am voting for....but

I thought this was pretty funny.....

Some Humor

I posted this just for Larry. Just in case he might be missing me: )

Rest in Peace

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

Missing Him

This morning I once again dropped off the hubby at the airport after a whirlwind weekend visit home. He arrived Saturday morning and it was one of the best weekends of my life. All we did was enjoy each other, the cold, eating together, fires in the fireplace, hours of movies, and just sleeping in our bed together. We barely left the house except to go look for a snow blower, go to a movie and out to dinner. It was fabulous doing absolutely nothing and just being in the moment. One thing about Larry and I is that above everything else in our life together, we value our time. More than money, more than stuff, more than careers or accomplishment, we always have each other.

Life always throws things at you, gives you challenges, and can even take away everything you ever thought you had, but life can never take away those inside your heart. Love is the only thing worth living for.

On the way home from the airport a song came on the radio which seemed very apropos. I have added it as my music selection.

A little Friday Humor....Enjoy

COLONOSCOPIES


TOO FUNNY - THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST

Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite = humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his = patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has
gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit! =

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." =

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all..

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

The Answers Came

Well, after some discussion and thought, I have my answers to the questions about what to do regarding my split life. A few days after I wrote my post about being torn apart, my husband got word that he is being extended in Hawaii until the end of September. I have decided to pack up and move to Hawaii in June after my nephew's wedding. I am going to try and convince my girlfriend to stay here for the summer, and if she doesn't want to, I have time to find someone else to house sit for me.
My biggest stress is getting the cats through immigration. I have to jump through some big hoops so as not to have to put them into quarantine. It is good to know what I am doing now, so that I don't have to go crazy at the last minute.
It is a big relief to finally have things figured out.

Another List

Recently I received one of those emails...you know the ones that ask you a series of questions that don't amount to much but you somehow feel the need to answer them anyway. This one was a little different in that it seemed to ask more revealing questions, so I thought I would include it here for no particular reason other than "just because."

1. What perfume do you wear? Burberry London
2. What is your favorite book? No idea. Too many to choose from. I still really love Charlotte's Web. I just think it is an all around great book.
3. What is your favorite food? Recently....Garlic stuffed Olives
4. Who is your hero? Anyone who follows their heart and passion.
5. How do spend your free time? Unfortunately, since it is winter, I am usually plopped in front of the brain cell destroyer (TV).
6. When your were a child, what did you dream you would become as an adult? At 35? I probably thought I would be dead. After all, that was so old. My dreams were to be a professional ballet dancer. Nothing else entered my mind until I was 14 and had tried out for every professional school outside of Utah, only to find I couldn't get into any of them. At 14, I had to let go of a lifelong dream and get a new identity. My only focus was to get out my house, out of Utah, and go to college. After leaving dancing behind, I really struggled to find a calling. Now I realize I have many callings, not just one.
7. What is one thing you have done that you are ashamed of? When I was in high school, my girlfriend (who was the "good girl" to everyone else) thought it would be fun to drive around and egg kids on Halloween night. I agreed and played follow to her leader. The first and last egg I threw hit a little kid in his Tigger outfit. I felt like such a shit, deservedly so. I can't even recognize that girl today. In fact, today I would be chasing that girl down the street writing down the license plate. I wish I could make amends to the kid, but I have no idea who he was. Guess we all make mistakes.
8. Where would you like to be 5 years from now? Wow! This really is a doozy. Well...I hope to be a healthy, sexy, active 40 year old. I will have finished my Masters of Science in Speech and Language Pathology and will be working in my field in a school setting or a health care setting, or both if I have it my way. I will be an active outdoors enthusiast, and actively engaged in rational advocacy for preservation and planning. I will still be dancing and taking pictures. I will still be working in volunteerism for animal welfare and against cruelty. I think I will still live in Utah, but you can never know. I will spend all my free time with my husband, enjoying every moment of our time together. Ummmm....maybe a kid? I think we might have a little one running around. I will still travel and soak up as many experiences as I can manage. I will have better relationships with my friends and family. Oh...and reaching for the stars here, but I would really love to learn Spanish and learn to fly a plane so I can go fly with my husband.
Sounds like a lot, but it isn't all that different from what I am doing now, just more of it (except the kid, Spanish, and flying parts.....oh, who am kidding!!).
9. What is a moment in your life that you often reflect on? When I was on a church mission to New Mexico in 1988, a group of guys that I had befriended joined together and sang "Windy" by The Association. But instead of saying "Windy" they replaced it with "Bindy." They did this during lunch while everyone was eating. There must have been two hundred of us in the room. I turned bright red and was totally embarrassed. Man...what a moment though! I will still listen to that song every so often and a big grin will come across my face. Funny, but it also reminds me of who I am to those around me. I find it a huge compliment.
10. Who the single most important person in your life? A...duh...my husband. See question 4.

Death by Power Point and other Torture devices

Last week I started back at school. So far the only word to describe it is painful. My Acoustics and Anatomy of the Ear class is so dull I want to scream. This Professor has been teaching this class for 30+ years. He loves what he teaches, however, the love does not come across all the dreaded black and white PP's. In addition, he does a lecture that I listen to online while going through the slides. The PP's are torture enough, but then add a lecture with a voice like Ben Stein's and it becomes a whole new level of pain. After 2 hours of listening to the definitions of sound, discussions on vibrations and waves, and I want to pull my hair out.

My Language Science class has been really busy. Lots of stuff going on in there. We also have a group project that is a big chunk of our grade. I have done many, many group projects, but not one on line with people from all over the country. Last night we had our first "chat" discussion, and after everyone hemmed and hawed about volunteering to be Group Leader, I decided to give up my Research position to take Command. Geez what a bunch of milk toasters. I was not happy about giving up my research position, but I wanted to get the ball rolling. They have no idea what they are in for. I will just say this.....DEADLINES! I am putting my old teacher's hat back on and taking control! Wha-ha-ha.

Future Changes

Now that it is the New Year, I have begun to identify the changes I want to make this year. Some of which includes changes for this blog. I do enjoy just writing for writing sake, even if there is no point to anything I have to say. That part of this blog won't change. It has definitely become an outlet for me.

I also enjoy posting pictures of things I do and places I go. Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved taking pictures. For me, pictures capture that single perfect moment, and freezes it in time. Going back through photos is one of those experiences that always brings a smile to my face. Whenever I feel down or inadequate, I pull up my pictures, or flip through a photo album and suddenly I can see things clearly, and often I am reminded of how lucky I am.

At the end of this month I will be taking a photography class at the University of Utah in their lifelong learning program. It is an introductory class, but I am hoping to learn how to use a camera better and understand the technical aspect of a picture. I will be posting my pictures here, and will probably change my Flikr badge (the one I haven't updated since last Spring) and use it to discuss my photos. I hope it will be interesting.

In addition to photography, I am also starting to catch up on all my personal reading. I have decided to add a discussion/review of a book at least once a month. I am thinking the first week of each month would keep me consistent. I am not joining any book of the month group or anything like that, but rather just keeping myself honest and focused in doing one of the hobbies that gives me great pleasure and expands my mind.

Initially I will be doing a little catch up. I want to review Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. I read this book last November, but never reviewed it here. It is such an amazing journey that I really want to talk about it, so I will be reviewing that book the first of February. In addition, I will be discussing a book that I started last year, but got side tracked into something else and never finished it. I really love the book, so why I didn't finish it is unclear. The book is The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. It is a tale about following your dreams. I like the way he writes stories; the words are simple, the story itself is simple, but the meaning behind the story is what captured me. I will review this also the first of February.

I have already selected February's read. Since it is the month of Love, I will be reading Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I also love how this author writes, and will be looking forward to this read next month.


So here is to new beginnings and changes!

Living in between

I managed to make it back to Salt Lake early this morning. It was yet another joy filled ride on the red eye flight from Honolulu. This time I was lucky enough to get the middle seat, straddled between two guys in their early twenties, neither of which was willing to share the arm of the chair. After I had had enough of squeezing my arms to my sides, I nudged my way in trying to attain some sense of space on either side of me. Neither of them budged. It was almost as if they enjoyed bumping into my boob, or the feeling of drool dripping from my mouth onto their arm as I attempted some sleep. Whatever the deal was, I found it incredibly rude. We landed in the snow covered Salt Lake Valley just as the sun was starting its trek over the Wasatch Mountains. It was cold and I only had on a denim jacket and a fairly thin Hawaiian (or Aloha) shirt. I think it was about 23 degrees.

On the way home I began to feel the stress of living two lives, or better said, living one life in two places 6 hours apart. It is starting to take its toll on me. My heart is with my husband and he is working in Hawaii. Our home and my life is struggling to take root here in Utah. The funny thing is that when we decided to move here, we both thought that our lives might settle a bit. Now our life is crazier than ever. I find myself in the predicament of needing to decide how I want to proceed with the next 6-9 months of my life. Do I pack up, pack the cats, hire a house sitter, and bolt to Hawaii for the time, or do I continue on with the coming and goings? Today, after that hellish flight, I feel the former is the best way to go. After all, a house is just a house. It will be here when we get back (knock on wood). I can really get to enjoy living in Hawaii, probably a once in lifetime opportunity.

I don't know why this is such a hard decision for me. On paper, and upon reflection, it seems crazy to stay here when I want to be in Hawaii with Larry, but for some reason I am always afraid that something bad will happen and we will lose everything. That if I am not here to hold down the fortress, all hell will break lose. It sounds crazy, but I have always been afraid of losing the things and people that I care about. I feel as if something bad will happen because I am not around to take care of it all. Maybe it is just some control issue I have sprouted from a childhood of never getting to have control in my life, so I grab onto things that I can control and in turn I become dependent on that control. Who knows. Does that sound like a good analysis of the deep seeded haunts in my psyche? I guess this probably sounds like rambling, which is probably what I am doing, but where else to ramble but a blog?

I guess I will think and pray on it. I believe I will have to let things go in order to get the answer. In fact, I think I already have the answer, but I am afraid to let go. I guess I just answered myself. See....I knew this blog was good for something. I should title it "Blogology," or "Psychog." I have always found help in figuring things out when I can write about what is on my mind. It has always been therapeutic for me.

For the time being, I guess I will continue to live in between, but I think I will try hard to make the best decision for myself and what I want and need for my own enjoyment of life, and not to get stuck on the need for control and obligation.

Ringing in the New Year

Happy 2008! What a crazy couple of weeks it has been. On New Years Eve, Larry and I boarded a plane heading to Honolulu. We landed around 5:30 in the evening (Hawaii time), rushed off to the "Q" (bachelors quarters), packed up Larry's room and moved everything over to the Navy Hotel. Around 7:30 I took a shower, got dressed and we headed out to Waikiki for a New Years party with the Australians Larry works with. I was exhausted, but managed to put on a smile for all the people I had only heard about, but never seen. It is always challenging for me to meet the people that Larry works with. I have met Generals, Admirals, Diplomats, Ambassadors, Deputies for the Secretary of Defense, and top officials of many overseas military organizations. My struggle is being friendly, but not too friendly; being smart but not opinionated; being attractive but not sexy, etc... . It can be a fine line to walk. Fortunately, this "meeting" was less formal, as it was with a bunch of fun loving Australians whose only concern was whether or not I needed yet another glass of wine.

After ringing in the New Year by watching the firework display over the ocean, we headed up to the Colonel's hotel room for more celebrations. I had stopped drinking hours ago, but had a good time conversing with everyone, drunk and non drunk. The Colonel got a little flirty with me, kissing me on the cheek a little longer than a normal (normal being the traditional cheek kiss that people from other countries do to say "hello"). I think it was the alcohol talking. Around 2 a.m. we finally left. Poor Larry had to drive us back to base. I fell asleep before we even got to the freeway. I barely remember getting back to the room and to bed. It was 5:30 in the morning for us. It had been a 22 hour day.

The next day, Larry awoke to a bad cold. He was very sick. He stayed home from work two days, and I nursed him best I could. We did have big plans, but unfortunately none of them panned out. Friday, we finally moved into the condo that will be a more permanent place of residence. I was a relief finally getting Larry settled into a place of his own. We live on the twelfth floor overlooking a golf course, and the balcony faces the setting sun offering spectacular sunsets from the living room. Our first night in the condo I cooked tacos for dinner. Larry acted like it was the best meal he had had in months. I guess that's what happens when your diet consists mainly of sandwiches.

Saturday morning I found myself with clogged sinuses, a sore throat, runny eyes, and an eye infection. So much for pounding 1000mg of Vitamin C everyday. The writing was on the wall....I was getting sick as well. Our fun weekend plans were no more. We did manage to get out to the beach, only to get rained on. Yesterday we walked the Pali Hwy and lookout which was a nice way to open the lungs a bit and get in some beautiful scenery.

I do hope to be home in the next few days, but for the time being I am trying to rest and get better. Thank God for my girlfriend who has been house sitting for me. She has told me to stay put until I am well enough to travel.

It has been a busy start to the New Year, but I am happy for it. I am looking forward to a great 2008 and all the opportunities ahead.