The Lonely Shoppers Club

After my journey home yesterday, I came back to reality finding myself hopelessly unprepared for an exam I had to take today. I spent the afternoon studying and around 6 left to take the test. Afterwards, with the sounds of the bomb hitting Hiroshima echoing through my mind, I decided I needed to put some food in the house and pick up something for dinner. I stopped off at my local grocery store assuming that Gramps and I would be the only people in a grocery store on a Friday night at 7:30. Thankfully, the place was jammin'. Surprisingly many college students were stocking up on frozen pizzas and Hungry Man dinners. I wandered around aimlessly, desperate for anything to sound tempting for dinner. Sushi is usually my solace, but no....even that didn't agree with me. I looked over at a young girl, at least I think she was younger than me, wearing baggy old sweats with her hair tied up as if she had just rolled out of bed. She just stood there staring at the containers. She must have had a lot on her mind because as she stared at the plastic boxes of orange fish and rice rolls, she had a slight catatonic look on her face. I smiled at her and moved on.

I found myself intrigued by the fancy juice section. You know...the juices with interesting names and strange fruit you have never heard of before? Well, I was looking at all the pretty colors (that's how they get you to spend $4.00 for 80z) and found a Brazilian named juice with Acacia Berry, Pomegranate, and to top it all off...Cacao. Oh, that sounded just too good. I splurged and bought one. Still, I knew that wouldn't be enough for dinner. I picked up a few apples and remembered I was out of Bird Seed. I sought out my bird seed and ran into another college age couple (or roommates) that seemed to be preparing for a toilet paper shortage. Either that or they were trying to recreate their middle school years by toilet papering some one's house.
Still in search of dinner, I went to the frozen foods section. I wandered up and down the isle looking for something to tempt me, but then I noticed my reflection in the glass. My pants that I had just purchased in December are now at least one size too big and their bagginess was rather obvious. I felt kind of good about it, but then I realized that I was standing in the grocery store staring at myself in a glass door. I looked around and sure enough a strange looking dude was looking right at me. Damn! I turned red, smiled and quickly left the isle. Maxi Pads to the rescue! I think that isle has a deflection shield for anything with a penis.

I was about to give up and go home to another can of soup when I came across a pasta skillet meal that looked really good. Plus it was on sale! So there you have it....apples, juice, bird seed, pasta meal, maxi pads, I picked up some soy milk and some Slim fast bars. $48.92! Holy bleep! 50 bucks for two bags of stuff?!

I made my way back out the car feeling a bit depressed that I was alone and a member of the Lonely Shoppers Club once again. Not only does it suck, but it is way too expensive!