Stubborn is as Stubborn does

Yesterday I was talking with my sister on the phone. We started talking about her boyfriend and his stubbornness. To paraphrase her, " he is about as stubborn as you are." Pardon? Okay I know I have the capacity to be stubborn, but I don't see myself as an old mule. I responded with, "why, am I that stubborn?" She laughed followed by a "Gesh! You are incredibly stubborn." Wow, okay. I guess I just don't see that I am that bad. Not to mention the fact that she is incredibly stubborn as well.

Later I talked to Larry and told him what my sister had said. I asked if he agreed with her diagnosis. "Yep, you are pretty stubborn. Once you get something in your head, you are unlikely to change." I replied, "so I am like a statue, unmovable?" "More like a mountain," he said matter of fact. "OKAY! Goodness. So I have a stubborn streak, I get it!" He laughed at me, "no, more like it's in your colors. There is nothing streakish about it." I laughed and then we discussed a few memorable episodes of me "digging in" that were rather laughable now.

The whole thing made me wonder how much stubbornness is too much. The definition(s) of stubborn is:

1.	unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.

2.	fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute: a stubborn opponent of foreign aid.

3.	obstinately maintained, as a course of action: a stubborn resistance.

4.	difficult to manage or suppress: a stubborn horse; a stubborn pain.

5.	hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work.

To be completely honest, it is just the way I have always been. I rarely see it as anything unusual, just a part of my personality. I guess all the family on my mother's side is about the same. Is it genetic? Can certain personality traits be passed down through blood? Is it nature or nurture? Probably a bit of both. I recently found out about some of my family genealogy on my mother's side. Apparently we are Irish (I thought we were Scottish) and German. Mix that with my father's side of Norwegian and Apache Indian, and I guess we have a large pot of very "stuck in the mud" folk. Difficult to manage or suppress. Yes, I could probably agree with that one.

My husband stated that he doesn't think I am intentionally being stubborn just to be difficult (thanks sweetie), but it is my unyielding independence that is the cause of most of it. I rarely, if ever, reach out to others. He said he has to beg just to offer help if he sees I am struggling. I guess I never saw it that way. My inability to receive help actually hurts him. I have always just seen myself as having to do it for myself, my way, and without assistance. I know that one of my hangups is the concept of needing others as a sign of weakness. Yes I will admit to that wholeheartedly. It is not something I am proud of or find boastful in any way. It is just the way I am. As Larry said, "unyielding independence."

I'm not sure how much stubbornness I can take away from myself. I am learning to understand I need to trust more and receive help when offered. It isn't easy for me, but I understand it. Other than that, I am not sure I am ever going to change. I guess I am like a horse that is unbreakable. Too be honest, the whole concept of "breaking " a horse bugged me. Just let them be I say. Guess I know where that comes from.

P.S. I know that my list of Keywords under my pic states that I am stubborn and combative. Funny thing, I actually borrowed those Keywords from a description of traits of Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Asc. people (as I am). I felt they were pretty accurate (although I did leave out the sex, sex, and more sex aspect of my charts).
*She is full of contradictions. She is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. She fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them.* Maybe there is something in the stars after all.