Yesterday I stepped outside to water my herb pots and clean off the back deck. As I stood out the side of the house with the hose spraying water over the basil and rosemary, I noticed a car pull into the driveway. It wasn't a car I recognized, and people have been known to use my driveway to back track when they have turned onto my street by accident. I went back to my basil, but then as the car began to turn to go down the street, it stopped in front of the house and parked. The door opened, and a young guy with a satchel strapped over is shoulder got out and began to walk towards me. I stared until it finally hit me...."Ben??.......Ben!" I squealed out. His shaved, blond head and thin physique was what gave him away. I walked toward the gate, opened it, and gave him a big , hard, hug.
Ben is my cousin, one I thought I had lost about a year and half ago. It was a crushing blow at the time to realize that I may never see him again, but the fact that he stopped by with the desire to meet up with me again tells me that he may be open to having some of his family back in his life.
The last time I saw him was at his wedding. Months before the wedding he had converted to the Mormon religion so that he could marry the women he was in love with. It was a struggle for me, not because he was becoming a Mormon, but that in doing so meant that he would no longer have a relationship with his family, me included. I speak from personal experience with former friends and relationships, most of which ended for the same reasons. Until yesterday, I had figured the same for Ben. His new wife had made it pretty clear that although she loved Ben, she didn't really care to have any of us "non Mormon" types, otherwise known to the rest of the world outside Utah as people with faiths and beliefs other than the Mormon faith, in their/her life. I say this not to be mean, but to be honest. She, with her family, made it known that we (me and my family) were not a welcome addition to their lives. I had pretty much given up hope of ever seeing my cousin again. It now appears things may have changed, at least for Ben.
He had I have always had a special relationship. We are more like brother-sister than cousins. Even more like twins, separated by a year and two mothers that are sisters. We are sooooo similar in our traits and actions, even in our demeanor. I was ecstatic to say the least to see him again. When I talked with him it was like that instant connection was back again, that feeling of closeness and love. What's more is his sense of humor is exactly like my grandfather's, the one I have been writing about lately. So when Ben told me he was going back to school to become a Nurse, I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. He is in fact going to be a Nurse, and is walking away from an 11 year career with FedEx. He says this with complete satisfaction and happiness, and I couldn't be happier for him.
As he left we talked to about getting together and spending some more time with one another. I am hesitant regarding his wife as we didn't get off to a good start, if any start at all, but my love for Ben will outweigh any hesitation and I will hope for a better outcome in a reunion with her. Weddings are stressful, marriage is stressful, and meeting new, unfamiliar family is stressful. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and extend an invitation to her once again.
Mostly I am just thrilled beyond belief that he made the effort to connect with me. My heart is full.
*I picked this song specifically for this post. I think the lyrics speak for themselves.*
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