Catching up with the past

I have my name on one of those high school reunion web sites. Over the years, the number of profiles under my class has being on the rise, probably due to the much anticipated 20 year reunion in 2 years. I am one of those odd balls that actually fills out my profile with updates on my life, pictures, questionnaires, you know the whole reason for being on the site. Most folks, however, think that just having their name on the site will some how give their classmates all the info anyone would ever want to know about them. It kind of drives me nuts. How hard is to just tell people what has been going on in your life the last decade? Pictures of the family? My thought is it's a site where you can share info with people; the people who you used to spend a hell of a lot of time with, so why not actually provide information? Any way....off the soapbox, now the story.....

As I have reflected on my youth, I see now that I was one of those girls, you know....the girl that got along with a lot of people, tried to be every one's friend, and had a lot of "guy-friends." That dreaded teenage boy position of liking a girl, but only being the friend. I can honestly say that I was so naive, most of the time I never thought that there was anything more desired on their part. As an adult, I can see how stupid that was. They were teenage boys! Calling me at midnight wanting to talk for an hour, asking me out for burgers, but they bought? Yep, I'm sure maintaining a friendship was all that was on their mind. I might not have caught on back then, but today I am happy that most of these "guy friends" never became anything more. Why?? Because we are still friends!

One of these friends, Jason, who was placed into the "friend" category in 9th grade and stayed there all of high school, recently contacted me through my classmates profile. First it was a little note, "hey, how ya doin?" or something like that. It made me laugh, but I gave him points for making the effort. I responded in the typical "bindy" fashion....rambling off at the mouth "so what you doing now, married, kids? Post some damn photos!" I'm sure his thought was, "someone hasn't changed."
Last night I got an email from classmates telling me about the millions that have visited my profile (ha ha ha....joke), so I thought I would go look around and see if anyone new had arrived. Instead, I saw I had a message from Jason. He offered a bit more information: lives in Minnesota now, has a daughter that is almost in Jr. High, and how strange it was for him to be writing a girl that he used to talk to at about that same age. I wrote back offering a bit more information on myself and my life, and that it was indeed strange. As I was writing, I began to notice that I felt as if I was being transported back in time; standing outside his locker yapping up a storm and lecturing him on what will happen to his lip and jaw if he doesn't stop the chew (what was it with that stuff in the 80s?).
That's the thing about getting older, isn't it? The memories of those times become more vivid. I read once that the teenage brain is so marinated in chemicals that the events that took place during those years become deeply imprinted on the brain. I wonder if that's it? I talked to Larry about it later on the phone (he is so good, listening to me talk about other guys I used to know), he called it the Law of Primacy: What is learned first is best remembered. I'm not sure it's the the same thing I'm talking about.

Who knows what is going on inside the brain, but whatever it is, it is remarkably strong. I can look in the mirror and see the woman I have become, but then there is that underneath layer of a young girl smiling back at me. She holds all those memories of that time. Talking to old friends only makes that girl surface even more. I suppose I am also lucky... that time of my life was pretty good. I had fun in high school. It wasn't all roses, but I managed to gather some great memories and have relatively few regrets. And just in case someone might read this and interpret it as "high school must have been the best time in her life, how sad," let me say OH PLEASE! Hardly. It is just one of many good times in my life. One I am reflecting on today. I'd like to know when it became wrong to actually look back on being a teenager with fondness? With so many trying to relive it these days, you'd think waxing our youth might get a break.

I do hope to hear back from Jason. It would be fun to catch up more, see pictures of his family, and see that he is happy. Isn't that the real reason for wanting to catch up with old friends? To hope they are happy and doing well? It is for me.